PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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