Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
