we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
