you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
