You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
