His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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