yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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