im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
