Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
