If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
