Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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