he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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