If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
