I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
