i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
