But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
