I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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