Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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