i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
