ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
