It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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