I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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