Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
