I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
ugly people sure do ruin things
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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