so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
