omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
tell your sister to shave her snatch
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
