A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I wish life had little blips of pornography
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
