Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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