I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
this is an emotional support booty call
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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