I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
