i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
