i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You're like the curious george of whores
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
