ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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