Four minutes until I can fart!
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I could fuck to npr.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
where are my eyebrows?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
