She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize