You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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