Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
