The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
