I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
