it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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