Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I cut my penus on the lid.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
