He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
