Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
