i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
