either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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