we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
