I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
