Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
