She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
