after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
