Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
