I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
