It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
