STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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