3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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