guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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