Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
