honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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