I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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