The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
